


lick

by artificialmeggie (ohmymeggs), IAmTheNightman98



Series: Behind Closed Doors [3]
Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: Avengers Anthology, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-13
Updated: 2019-07-13
Packaged: 2020-06-27 14:07:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 987
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19792465
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ohmymeggs/pseuds/artificialmeggie, https://archiveofourown.org/users/IAmTheNightman98/pseuds/IAmTheNightman98
Summary: The five functions of the tongue.





	lick

**Author's Note:**

> Writing from the male perspective does weird things to my brain. Bon appetit. 

1- Exploring. 

You can use your tongue to explore. 

Tentatively at first. 

It’s dark on the way home from the studio and the lights on the bus are dimmed, but your tongue is electrified. Probing. Seeking. 

Slowly. 

Run it along the edge of his lower lip. See if he responds. Inhale sharply when he does. Then do it again. Wait for his to come to greet it. 

You’re supposed to be here to focus. A second shot at the crown to prove that you can live up to your newfound fame, but it’s hard to focus on that when you can use your tongue to explore the curves of his mouth. The taste. The shape. 

When things heat up, you can use it to steal the air from his lungs. Frantic and needy, because that’s what you are. The bus is cramped, yet somehow you can’t get close enough. It’s dark, but not secluded enough. The producers will catch on sooner or later and you’ll have to sit separately, but for now, this is enough. 

You came here for one thing and one thing only, to prove that _this time around_ you’re going to do better. You’ve been given another chance and you’re not going to fuck it up. You’re not going to make any mistakes. 

You can use your tongue to explore other possibilities. 

2- Giving.

Your tongue can be used to give. 

For the first time since filming wrapped, you’re alone with him at last. He wants to take you to see the city, go on dates, do things that real couples do, but your tongue has other plans. 

Your tongue traces patterns down his chest. Over his nipples. The lines of his muscles that clench as you pepper them with kisses. Stop at the waistband of his shorts, his whimpers as you lick his soft skin are very, very interesting. He tries to pull you back up, so that he can make you feel good too, but you stop him. 

This moment is about him. Telling him how excited you are that he’s willing to give this a shot for real. How blessed you feel that even though he’s hesitant, he’s _trying._ He’s doing that for you. So, you use your tongue to give him pleasure, trying to convey all the words that wont manifest. 

  


3- Swallowing.

Your tongue can be used to swallow the words that you need to say the most. 

_Hold your tongue,_ they’d say to you as a kid. Because you’re too loud and too brash and you don’t think before you speak. Well, if only those fuckers could see you now. Holding it all inside, because it’s so much easier than facing the ramifications if it were to come tumbling out. 

You want to tell him that he’s more distant than he used to be. He’s busier. He takes longer to call back, if he ever does at all. The excitement is fading. You feel like you’re a burden, just for asking how his day has been. 

You think he’s losing interest. 

You know you’re losing hope.

You want to tell him that you know what’s happening. You don’t want to hear him say it’s over. 

So, your tongue can be used to swallow the words. Swallow the emotions. Hold them in your gut, like shattered glass in your fist. 

But eventually there comes a point where it’s much easier to put out the fire than to ignite it anymore. 

4 - Propelling

Your tongue can propel words out of your mouth quicker than your brain can tell it not to. Especially when it’s late and you’re drunk and there’s nothing to lose anymore. 

_“Fuck you.”_

_“Don’t-“_

_“You’re the reason this ended. This is your fault. You and your inability to give us a real chance.”_

Your tongue takes the grief from your heart and wraps it up in words you don’t mean and spits them out in the form of poison. You’re a viper. You’re a sledgehammer. You’re acting with malice and crumbling with pain and you’re trying to hurt him. 

If you’re hurting then he should be hurting too. If he’s decided not to hold you, he should just let you fall.

So your tongue forces more words. More insults. More accusations. You don’t mean them, or maybe you do. You don’t know what you mean because you don’t know what you think. All you know is that it’s over and it isn’t coming back. Toast can never be bread again, and instead of trying to make it so, you char it further. You’re a dragon: tongue propelling your flames. Burning the memories. Destroying them before they can destroy you. 

Because you don’t want to live in a world where _I miss you_ doesn’t mean _I’m coming back._ And _I love you_ doesn’t last forever. 

5- Taste

Your tongue can taste. 

It can taste the bitterness in your mouth every time you hear his name for a long time afterwards. The bile in your throat that rises when someone asks about him, as though you’re supposed to fucking know. 

It tastes the remnants of the sugary cocktail that lingers on the lips of a stranger that isn’t him. That you want to be him. You _wish_ could be him. 

If you try hard enough, you can still remember the taste of him. Except, who are you kidding, you don’t have to try at all. You think about it when you dance and when you cry and when you scream and when you fuck. It’s all you can taste. You wonder when it’s going to fade. 

The taste of relief is the sweetest. When the resentment is gone and you can look at him without seeing your own, heartbroken expression in the reflection of his eyes. 

In the beginning, he’d say _we’re going to be okay._

And it turns out, he was right. You are okay. 

Just not together. 

**Author's Note:**

> The fifth in the Behind Closed Doors Series. We'll be posting one for the next six days until the entire series is complete.


End file.
